WalSmart

The other day Canessa left a shopping list for me.  My instructruction were to go to the store and buy the things on the list - very concise and to the point.  Naturally I drove to WalMart to purchase the necessary items.  Since I'm a snobby non-WalMart, WalMart shopper, I began my shopping excursion feeling somewhat aloof of those around me.  I sometimes like to watch the intersting people that are there, though I don't feel as though I am one of them.

Much to my chagrine, I soon found that instead of me watching everyone else, people began watching me.  Due to my lack of a plan (and a pen) I found myself walking from one end of the store to the other, over, and over again.  Apparently like things are not always located in "like" places.  I also learned that:

-There is fat free cheese, but it only occupies about 4 square inches of surface area.
-Just because something looks like it is gone, it doesn't hurt to bend over and look in the very back.
-WalMart employees don't know what Capers are.
-WalMart employees don't know what pancetta is.
-WalMart employees should not be asked for help.
-There are items placed on the top shelf and may not have a Great Value brand duplicate on a shelf below it.
-Men are not built for shopping.

-The latin lady with her daughters barking like dogs and chasing each other through the isles is better off than I am because she came and went in less than an eighth of the time that I was there looking for everything on my list.

After three hours walking up and down every isle at least four times I was finally on my way, horray!  Sadly - and I know nobody else has ever done this - just as I was pulling into the driveway, I realized I had forgotten apples and RAT food.

I may have used choice verbage at that moment - to go along with some choice verbage used in the store.

I am not WalSmart