Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Six years!

Bartus and I just celebrated our 6 year anniversary. We enjoyed a nice weekend down in St. George and saw Mary Poppins at Tuacahn. I re-read my last four anniversary blogs and have thus decided to write a different anniversary post this year. I love Bart dearly, he is an amazing husband and father.  I thank my lucky stars everyday that he married me.... and he still has his hunky high school physique-ow ow. But, I have decided to write 6 things I have learned, over my 6 years of marriage, including the good, bad and ugly.

Bart: I'd prefer to preface this with an account of the love and affection I have for Canessa.  She is very good to me and more than fills her role as wife and best friend.  Thanks Love!  That being said, I couldn't possibly remember the specifics of what I've learned each year (I can hardly remember what I did yesterday) - But I can certainly come up with six items of my own:

2007-2008: Year one, I learned that getting married and immediately having a mortgage is hard and in my opinion overrated, thus I have told multiple people to NOT buy a house before you get married or during that first year.

1. Spouses don't want to inherit your house! Buying the house together, and doing the remodel with both parties on-board is much less abrasive and much more rewarding. Plus, unless you have our current basement buddy renters (which is impossible because they are already taken), don't ever rent you basement - it's not healthy for you marriage.

Bart and I switched rolls for Halloween. He was the nurse and I was the engineer
2008-2009: Year two was a hard year. I learned that you need to fight fair and that you can't bring up all of your past problems because then you spiral down, down, down.

2. It's not just little kids that have to learn to "use your words". Com, com, com, communication! Though I prefer to grunt and point with my lips - it's hard to be interactive when I'm trying to balance a soda on my belly while watching my favorite TV lineup (don't bother me during House Hunters International!) - It comes across better to actually exchange verbal tonations (is that even a word?).

 Grass Valley
 2009-2010: Year three, I learned that having your husband commute to Provo, on I-15, in the winter, with construction will cause anxiety and it is better to move closer to where your husband works. 15 minutes away or less is perfect.
3. I'm the spender - She's the saver: AND it doesn't matter that she's the one asking me to do some of the projects. By virtue of me swiping the card, I become the spender (Plus - hasn't anybody ever told you, that you have to use the RIGHT TOOL for the job?).
 Bart grew nasty facial hair on purpose for Christmas
 2010-2011: Year four, I learned how important it is to truly be your spouses biggest, strongest, loudest cheerleader and I learned that through Bart being my best support during graduate school.  He believed in me and thought I could get the high on the tests and then enjoyed my treats I baked for my FNP class when I was the high scorer.

4. No matter how destitute we may feel, vacationing to some faraway exotic place is likely right around the corner - Thanks Renee and Cam - for letting us tag along! I thought eventually Canessa would become a fan of the weekend at home vacation (I suppose I was a little naive? Come on, who doesn't want to sleep in and mull around the house in your pajamees for vacation - maybe take a walk to the Y and overlook beautiful Provo? Nope - for Canessa it's Cancun, Europe, Hawaii, Hilton Head, St. Thomas - Kinda Crazy!)

 Lewis and Clark museum in Oregon
2011-2012: Year five, finally I learned that it is better to not fight over extended family functions-specifically what food assignment we get to bring and that sometimes it's not fair (I know, so whiny and rude) but family relations are worth it.

5. If Canessa can see it, Bart can make it! (Seriously,who told her that? Plus, didn't I say something about the right tool to for the job? Nope - who needs the right tool when you have Canessa's creative flare - especially apparent when it comes to saving money - I've learned what my $15 dollar garage sale sewing machine is capable of, and it's expected to produce designer decor. Also, the lack of certain power tools can be made up by pure brawn - no wonder I'm mostly broken...) 
 18 weeks pregnant in Hawaii
2012-2013: Year six: A baby changes your life and your marriage but for the most part (except from the 2-5 AM hour) it is a good, healthy, wonderful change.

6. Dutch is very thankful to Canessa for teaching Dad how to be a good dad. And since mom lays down the law, dad gets to be fun, chase him around the house, and let him bounce on the couch. Why again did we wait 5 years to bring this little bundle of joy home with us?



Nee said...

WOW....what a great blog. You two have learned some great lessons. I am the first to agree that your marriage is better 6 years later than it was those first few. It has been good for you to move away even though I hate it. You have learned how to compliment and complete each other. I am STILL so glad that you got married. I am one of your best cheerleaders. You are a great couple. And I can't wait to have you add more darlins to your home. Loves...Mom

Colin and Katie said...

You guys are awesome! It's a great reminder that love doesn't have to be perfect to be wonderful. You love the good along with the bad because that's life and that's how you learn. I'm so glad that we have such great role models and that you'll share with us. We love and miss you! Happy anniversary!

Amy said...

Great blog post! What a wonderful idea to reflect on things you have learned. And you two have done it so well :)
Congrats and happy anniversary!

Leslie said...

In some ways I just have to laugh as how similar we can be. Giving Adam projects that I should be doing like the sewing. Giving Adam all sorts of projects that I find, and taking credit for them. Expecting Adam to do the projects on a dime, even if it is going to take him 3 times longer than if he spend $5 for a new tool. What's wrong with elbow grease??? I love saving money. It makes me happy. I love being married to a handy man because that makes me happy too and I love being right and that doesn't make Adam happy at all. In other words, we should be friends :)

Angela said...

Ooh that was a fun post :)